text me you love me

About a month ago we broke the news to Ben that we had a surgery date for his next lengthening. We softened the blow by telling him in the very next breath that we were (finally) getting him a phone. He'd been begging us for one for months because 1) Harry got one and 2) he needed one to text his friends. (Yes, phones are for texting even more than talking with the teen crowd, don't you know.) As with almost all the technology that I have been resistant to (and to which I have finally caved due to pressure from my children), I have found that texting is an amazing form of communication and has opened up doorways between us.

There is a beauty in the brevity of text messages. Had we not been texting, I'm sure we would have chatted a few times on Mark's phone. But all my boys (Mark included) are reticent to chat on the phone, so that call would have felt more awkward. Via text Ben was open to joking, being sweet, being vulnerable, and being present up until the very last moment when (I imagine) he hit send and handed Mark his phone and was promptly wheeled away. And, I have a record of it on my phone to look at and remember.

I've (laboriously) typed it all up for you here and I've left it pretty much as is (spelling mistakes and shorthand left intact). The incredible sweetness of my boy is palpable. It's like poetry. Well, maybe just for me. (I should tell you, especially if you're not familiar with texting, that sometimes the messages seem out of order since I might be texting him a response while he's texting another comment. You might have to jump back and forth a bit to get the drift.)

You can see that Ben was in fantastically light spirits (confirmed by a phone call from Mark right after he was taken into the OR). This surgery is only the second in his memory that is "minor," although, remember they are going all the way to his ribs to do the adjustment. Minor is relative, yes? Anyhow, it is a short surgery comparatively (2 hours) and that is a huge difference for him. Having the knowledge that he got through the last one fairly easily and was out of the hospital in 13 hours, I believe made all the difference.

So here you have it, for posterity...my text conversation with Ben in the early hours of today.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

[3:25 am]

ME:  Just want u to know I woke up and am thinking abt u

BEN:  Hi mommy

ME:  Hi hon...how ya doin?

BEN:  Good i slept very nicely

ME:  Excellent you're such a trouper

BEN:  :)

ME:  R u in the taxi?

BEN:  Yes

ME:  Ok that's what i thought. What's the weather like?

BEN:  Blue skys with a couple of clouds

ME:  Sounds nice. It rained here most of the day yesterday. Dark now of course. It's 3:37 am!

BEN:  Haha

ME:  It was weird...I just woke up a few minutes ago...no alarm or anything, like my body just knew u were awake and on your way so I should wake up

BEN:  I woke up 2 minutes before my alarm went off

ME:  Yeah. Sometimes there's like a sixth sense

BEN:  Its like my body just new that i should be up u know?

ME:  Yep same with mine

BEN:  It was weird

ME:  I know I couldn't see a clock so I had to turn on my phone and I went "hey perfect timing! Ben's gonna be up now too"

BEN:  Wow thats cool

ME:  I used to wake up in the middle of the night every night, but I haven't for a while now. That's what made this really diff for me.

BEN:  O

ME:  I just want to send u a big hug

BEN:  thanks

ME:  I love u so much

BEN:  I luv u 2 mom <3 [heart on its side]

ME:  <3
xoxoxox ((((you)))) [hugs around Ben]

BEN:  :)
We are almost at the hospital

ME:  I was just going to ask
We'll text more later

BEN:  K we are there

ME:  Love u!!!!!

BEN:  I luv u 2

ME:  xoxoxox

BEN:  :)

ME:  Toby just giggled in his sleep!

BEN:  Wow thats kinda creepy

ME:  I guess he's having a funny dream...I'll have to ask him about it in the a.m.

[a little time passes]

BEN:  I just got my wrist band and we are going into the elevator

ME: Ok tlk [talk] later

BEN:  Kk [Okay]
They just took my whigh [weight] and i whigh [weigh]128

ME:  Congrats. :)

BEN:  :(

[Two hours pass, no texts, I slept]

BEN:  There about to come get me for surgery

ME:  Ok I love u!!! How r u?

BEN: Good me and dad watched very funny tv

ME:  sorry u had to wait so long

BEN:  Its ok actually it was nice

ME:   Excellent! You're gonna do great and I'll talk to u when u get out
I'm so proud of u

BEN:  Ok

ME:  It helps knowing what to expect
Doesn't it?

BEN: I like the shoe sock things there comfy
And yes

ME:  Great get a few before u leave

BEN:  To take home i like socks much better than these

ME:  Oh whatevah
No iv yet?

BEN:  Ya anyways mom i luv u vry much

ME:  I adore u

BEN:  Nope get that in surgery

ME:  xoxoxox
Ok
(((((hugs from me to u))))))
xxxxxxxsmoochxxxxxx

BEN:  (RE: ((((hugs from me to u) K im in the bed

ME:  Oh thought u were already

BEN:  Im a little nervous
Bye mom ttyl [talk to you later] luv u

ME:  That's to be expected
Bye!!!!!
I luv u!!!!!
Ttyl

[break of several minutes]

BEN: Hiya mom it turns out that i only was going down to talk to the docters and i'll be under in 15 mins so hows it going?

ME: Oh!!!! it's going fine!
I was sending you big blessings.

BEN:  Thats nice im less nervous

ME:  Amazing

BEN: Thank u

ME: How come d'you think?

BEN:  Thats good
Huh?

ME: How come youre less nervous?

BEN:  I dont know everyones very confedent and calm

ME:  That's great that u can take that in
What did the doctors say?
And did u have an xray this morning?

BEN: That im going to go in breathe then fall asleep and no

ME: Ok
Sounds easy

BEN:  Yup im gonna be fine

ME:  u definitely r

BEN:  Yup u should take somthing to calm down

ME:  And when u get out it's gonna be even easier then the last time
I'm calm, cuz u r

BEN:  Yup

ME:  I should say calmer
I was more nervous last time
But thx for thinking abt me

BEN: Still u should

ME:  I'm fine, sweetie
Just lying in bed
Txting my boy

BEN: Hmm anyways calm down i can feel it in your txts

ME: Oh sorry I really am fine
Maybe I'm asking too many questions...?

BEN: Sure u r sure

ME: Lol
I wouldn't send u there if I didn't believe they would take excellent care of u

[pause]

Well it's my job to be a little nervous!
But really I'm just fine

BEN:  Yeah
wel....................................................

ME: =)

BEN: Sure u r sure.......O.o

ME:  8)
:P
xoxoxox

BEN: jsshdikisabusukjkszdekjdszeksejzjzjedsmeds im not crazy BOOGA BOOGA MOOGALY tell that to tubs [Toby]

ME: Um...ok...when he wakes up.

BEN: Wait what time is it

ME: Hey! did they give u something to make u loopy? Cuz it suuuure seems like it!
7:33 am

BEN: No im just naturly crazy and oh thanks

ME: Too much time on your hands, it seems...

[long break during which I play Spider Solitaire on my iPhone]

Hey u there?

BEN: Barely
I am about to go
i luv u soooooooooo much

ME:  Ok I LOVE U
Love u more!!!

BEN: <3<3<3<3<3<3<3
         <3<3<3<3<3<3<3
         <3<3<3<3<3<3<3
         <3<3<3<3<3<3<3
         <3<3<3<3<3<3<3
         <3<3<3<3<3<3<3
         <3<3<3<3<3<3<3 [32 lines long!]

ME:  You're the best! xoxoxox